i won an academic award for service learning. it's part of a group web design project i did last quarter.. we designed a site for a local food bank. i'm not linking to the site because i really didn't like it. it looked amateurish and clunky (which makes sense since we are amateurs, but i still have a hard time dealing with it.) i enjoyed the project, though.. nice to feel like something i did will actually help people.

i haven't won any awards or even gotten reliable grades in years... ever since elementary school, my grades became quite mercurial. one quarter all A's, the next all F's. it's ironic to be rewarded for something when i don't approve of my own work. but my motivation in the workforce crap says that i need to make sure i mention my achievements as much as my failures, so thank you for enduring my this episode of the psychological issues excavation.

each week i have a list of psych projects to choose from. this week, the easiest/most fun sounded like choosing a "random act of kindness" and writing about how my action affected me and the other person. it has to be someone i don't know and don't interact with regularly.

i have yet to start the project, but other people in my building are rockin' the concept. earlier today a neighbor knocked on the door. he explained that he needed help disposing of superfluous food. the whole wheat homemade waffle man turned out to be an art teacher/photographer who also makes super 8 films. nonstatic gave him advice on audio editing techniques and i suggested he rent a treehouse.

although i'm happy with my progress in work/school, i'm inherently a social person. i miss meeting new people, going out all the time, and having adventures. :( very thankful for the upcoming vacation..

oh, and you all should see kung fu hustle. it's awesome.

per usual, my preparation for the class presentation on kava was nonexistent. it took me until almost midnight to finish my online psych test. by the time i was done i felt like it was too late to contact the kind lj people who'd offered to loan me a hot water source. i decided to use my coffeemaker. i still needed kava, so i hassled nonstatic into getting it for me. my half-awake incoherent mumblings resulted in him purchasing a bunch of bulk kapha tea, which seems to be a combination of cardomom, cloves, ginger, black pepper, etc.. similar to chai. it smells delicious, but wouldn't work for the project. i ran to the store in the morning, but arrived to class 1/2 hour late.. just in time to give the presentation.

i brought my im3 speakers, remembering at the last minute that downloading some polynesian music would've been good. unfortunately, i couldn't find anything even remotely fitting the theme on my ipod.. the closest i could find was manu dibango. so i played that while explaining the wonderful relaxation properties of kava. i then argued loudly with another member of my group about the fda warnings, referencing the counter-studies noting that everyone who'd had liver issues with it had pre-existing liver trouble.

unfortunately, my class consists of a bunch of wusses. after hearing about the fda study, most of them declined my offer to sample some kava. however, the instructor poured herself a big ol' cup while laughing, and people complimented me afterward on how much they enjoyed my "unique" approach (probably a polite euphemism ;)

finals = over. phew. now i wait to find out whether my attempt to teach myself javascript in an hour was sufficient.

agf has a new album produced by luomo/vladislav delay called explode.
it's my favorite so far. i emailed her to ask if it will be available on vinyl but apparently not :( the other album i've been listening to nonstop is masha qrella's unsolved remained. i've also decided that i am a fan of henrik schwarz.

trader joe's has this new yogurt which is supposedly imported from italy. same calories/etc as normal yogurt, but it's ginger & cinnamon flavor. SO GOOD. comes in cute little glass jars, although i actually wish it didn't since i'm just going to recycle them anyway.

my last final is on monday (for my javascript/sql/coldfusion class). i'm frightened because starting next month, i have to take an in-person class :( the class i'm taking is also an odd one - nutrition. (it fulfills a science transfer requirement). i've been taking all my classes online for the past two years (maybe longer?) and i am NOT looking forward to returning to a normal class. i *hate* regular classes. they all move at a snail's pace with people raising their hands every few minutes to ask idiotic questions. i have a really hard time paying attention. if i have a notebook in front of me, i start writing little plans for websites and events that i'd like to throw someday and mixtapes and whathaveyou, and then i look up and the class is over.

my other class is online per usual, but it appears that a lot of the transfer classes aren't offered online :( i hope that this having-to-be-physically-present-for-class crap isn't going to happen every quarter from now on, but i fear that it may. to make matters worse, it's at 7:30AM... which'll mean getting up at 6-6:30AM every day, then going to work and getting home at 7-7:30PM. blech. i am NOT a morning person.

i hope that learning about nutrition will help with the current belly protrusion issue. there's no way i could wear the same outfits i wore to burning_man again this year if the current situation continues..

Well, son I’ll tell you:
Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.
It’s had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor-
Bare.
But all the time
I’se been a-climbin’ on,
And reachin’ landin’s,
And turnin’ corners,
And sometimes goin’ in the dark
Where there ain’t been no light.
So, boy, don’t you turn back.
Don’t you set down on the steps
‘Cause you finds it kinder hard,
Don’t you fall now-
For I’se still goin’, honey,
I’se still climbin’,
And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

-Langston Hughes (King 121)

this morning i totally flipped out and started screaming. then i ran outside and my car wouldn't start so i continued screaming at the car. i'm hoping it's just the battery. i know it's uncommon for a battery to die while the car is in motion, but the entire way to work i alternated between trembling and my ongoing vocal tirade.

i have three days to plow through this enormous book about coldfusion and 'teach yourself sql in 10 minutes' (riiight) and create a site using both for a functional database application. i have yet to start reading either book.

every time i breathe deeply my heart hurts really bad. i know it's totally stress related. recently i bought rescue remedy to try and combat this.. but of course i forgot it at home. very much looking forward to portland vacation this weekend.

damn, selling books on amazon kicks ass.

oh, ibuprofen
i meant to write essays last night
oh, ibuprofen
just one after-work beer seemed all right
oh, ibuprofen
deliver me from this sin
oh, ibuprofen
please just start to kick in.

i'm horribly behind in my classes, which sucks because they are the shit. my client-side scripting prof references things i have to google. today it was the principle of parsimony.

"Occam's razor is a logical principle attributed to the mediaeval philosopher William of Occam (or Ockham). The principle states that one should not make more assumptions than the minimum needed. A related rule is Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity".

Then I found another maxim which is more directly related to my school problem: "The time from now until the completion of the project tends to become constant." - Douglas Hartree

...

update: aha! i did some research on the prof. he helps throw the capitol hill block party, works with bumbershoot, produces electronic-pop stuff that's pretty decent, worked on a dance opera that was at ladyfest, signs petitions against mark sidran, and was involved in both ruston mire and another band called faster tiger which looks like something i might like. (yes, i really shouldn't be researching my instructor's personal lives instead of working on their assignments. damn google)

( convoluted ramblings about my college career thus far )

here comes a fulltime courseload this summer, so you probably won't see as much of me.