i'm going through my old emails and found this old forwarded email of unknown origin. it still makes me laugh.

>Subject: [mw] Top Raver Flicks of 1999
>
>With all this talk of kickass films on the list lately, here's a list
>of the Top 21 Film Rentals of 1999! Enjoy
>
>Richie 'n' Me - The touching tale of a homeless boy's adoption by
>Richie Hawtin, when the prince of techno realizes he needs an heir and
>pupil to his legacy. Yule Brenner stars as Richie Hawtin, with
>Jonathan Ke Quan as "Timmy." (G)
>
>Superstar DJ Keoki's Day Off - After a rousing evening of heroin, weed,
>and crystal, Keoki decides there's no way in hell he's gonna show for
>his gig that night! Watch the wacky madcap antics ensue as Keoki fools
>everyone from his agent to his clients, and finally vomits all over
>himself and $3,000 worth of equipment before passing out. Laugh riot!
>Superstar DJ Keoki and numerous stand-ins star. (NC-17)
>
>When Ravers Attack, vol. VII - The long-awaited 7th installment in this
>enormously lucrative series. This volume brings you shocking footage
>of the BTS beating down innocent kids, teenagers going berzerk on
>glass, and a must-see scene involving a group of gabber DJ's eating the
>corpse of a road-slain armadillo! (NR)
>
>Driving Miss Djax - When a retired DJ moves to Amsterdam to find work
>as a chaffeur, who should he pick up as his first client but an aged
>Djax (Kathy Bates), who insists in her senility that there are "Piggly
>Wigglies" in Holland. Co-starring Morgan Freeman as Kenny Ken.
>(PG-13)
>
>The Blowpop Kid - An eccentric marketing genius from Charms visits Goa,
>India in an attempt to increase Blowpop market penetration in the local
>trance scene. Musing over the complete lack of interest in his tasty,
>gum-filled candy, he discovers a local guru who produces his own line
>of psychedelic lollipops, called "Psuckers." Charms seeks a
>joint-venture in marketing the product worldwide, and changes the rave
>scene forever. Gene Wilder, Fisher Stevens. (PG)
>
>Huggie Goes Bananas - While on tour in Brazil, popular west-coast
>trance DJ Huggie eats some bad clams followed by a hefty dose of
>mescaline. Zany! (PG-13)
>
>Honey, I Shrunk the Positive Kids - When Matt's dad's matter-reducing
>machine goes haywire, the Positive Kids and Happy League find
>themselves only 1/4-inch tall! Watch as Dica narrowly escapes being
>impaled on an Ortofon Super OM needle. (PG)
>
>Honey, I Blew Up the Packard - When a deranged promoter begins
>detonating Detroit venues, it's up to a plucky young group of candy
>ravers to deliver vigilante justice... Detroit style! (i.e., kicking
>ass and taking wallets). (R)
>
>Ginos in the Mist - The true story of a brave raver's journey into
>Toronto's club scene, risking life and limb for a better understanding
>of fashion-ho clubbers. Not for the faint-hearted. (R)
>
>Not Without My Glowsticks - While on vacation in the middle east, a
>boy's glowsticks are unjustly confiscated while at a party entitled
>"It's All About the Oppression," just before his scheduled return to
>the US. Set in Iran when glowstick opposition was at an all-time high.
>Starring some kid you've never heard of, and Mary Stuart Masterson as
>his mom. (PG)
>
>Discovering My Lesbian La-La - Docu-drama adaptation of the 10-week
>best-seller! A schizophrenic girl projects her suppressed
>homosexuality, seeing it in her talking Teletubbies doll. (PG-13)
>
>Swede Family Lekibush - It's fun for the whole family when Cari
>Lekibush, Adam Beyer, and all those adorable heroes of Swedish techno
>are shipwrecked with a bunch of Kooky Scientist records on an island in
>the South Pacific, and are forced to construct tables and a sound
>system using cypress tree bark, a boar skeleton, and some coconuts.
>Starring Sir Lawrence Oliviet as Cari Lekibush. (G)
>
>Fluffy Bunny's Big Candy Adventure in Foo-Foo Land 2 - Fluffy Bunny is
>back in the sequel to last year's box office smash, and it's sure to
>delight candy ravers and 2-year-olds alike. Watch as Fluffy Bunny and
>the rest of the PLURry Pals seek the mystery of "E Island." WARNING:
>some scenes may induce seizure. (G)
>
>Toking with the Enemy - While getting seriously fucked-up on some primo
>cheeba with her housemates, 22-year-old Jennifer (Michele
>Weinberger) realizes that the guy who just passed her the bong is none
>other than her sketched-out ex-boyfriend Larry (Christian Slater), who
>dumped her and has totally avoided her ever since, still owing her $40
>and a bunch of New Order CDs. (PG-13)
>
>Dial "E" for Ecstasy - A bored partykid dials a 1-900 number after
>playing 17 hours of Tomb Raider 3 and listening to too much DJ Assault.
>When he turns up dead as a doornail in a transgendered prostitute's
>apartment, it's up to one hard-ass New York cop to be drawn into a web
>of intrigue and get sexed-up by all the suspects.
>(NC-17)
>
>Raid 2: "This Time It's Personal" - When a violent LA police raid on a
>peaceful warehouse party claims the life of Adam X, Frankie Bones vows
>revenge on the LAPD, forming a renegade squad of techno DJ/producers
>known as the "X-Team." Sylvester Stallone as Frankie Bones. (R)
>
>A Raver Runs Through It - Critically-acclaimed story of two Nebraska
>sisters of opposite personalities--one a gabber nut, the other a house
>head--who share one common love: fly-fishing. Based on the novel of
>the same name. (PG)
>
>N.U.K. - The candy raver son of an eccentric genetic engineer is the
>accidental victim of a drive-by shooting, severaly damaging his arms
>and legs. His father builds him a set of new bionic limbs and a
>cybernetic voice box to correct his cracking voice, giving him a new
>life dedicated to fighting crime and wack promoters. Filled with
>annoying but adorable cyborg fight-scene puns: "Now that's what I call
>a breakbeat!" Jonathon Taylor Thomas as RoboRaver. (R)
>
>As Candy As We Wanna Be - Four bisexual speed addicts decide to shoot
>porno films to raise money to support their habit of meth and parties.
>Starring "Shirley G." and Matt "Glowstick" McMannon.
>(X)
>
>A Flyer For Miss Julie - An elderly woman's life is transformed when
>she's given a flyer for a full-moon party in the Arizona desert,
>eventually leading to her rise as the best producer in the western
>hemisphere. (PG)
>
>Dateline NBC Too Hot for TV - The provocative exposi that shocked a
>nation! Exclusive behind-the-scenes footage proving that popular
>network television "news magazines" are sexy drug-infested drugfests,
>loaded with sex and drugs and people having sex while on drugs!
>(NR)